


L is for Loki's 'help'.

by BarPurple



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Doctor Who, Sherlock (TV), Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Crack Crossover, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Plotbunnies, Ridiculous, The Author Regrets Nothing, out of character everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 15:06:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2155047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarPurple/pseuds/BarPurple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They ran towards the scream, 'cause that's what normal characters do, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	L is for Loki's 'help'.

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when you realize that your next fic will be your 50th and a crazy part of your brain decides you should mark the occasion with something epic.

There was a scream. Not a yell of frustration, nor a cry of joy; not blood curdling, but certainly chilling. It was the sort of howl that bypassed rational thought and poked the hindbrain with a sharp stick; fight or flight? The scream came from a distance, muffled by closed doors and twisting corridors leaving nothing immediately to fight against. Left only with the option of flight they ran. Being the people they were and unable to oppose their natures, they ran towards the sound of screaming.

 

\---{}---

 

The Doctor must have found the right pressure point that released the locking mechanism since Rory stumbled through the doorway and landed heavily on his knees on clipped green grass. A bunny rabbit twitched its nose at him before hopping off to join its friends at the base of the tree in the centre of the room.

“Well, that wasn’t what I was expecting.”

“Come on Rory, have you never seen a huge tree on a spaceship before?”

The Doctor jumped over Rory’s prone form and began waving his Sonic Screwdriver around the room. Amy pulled Rory to his feet. There was no sign of the door they had come through, instead there were curved bookcases hugging the perimeter of the room. As usual Amy was completely unconcerned by the strange turn of events.

“It’s probably the oxygen factory. Hey Doctor there aren’t any Weeping Angels in here like last time are there?”

The Doctor didn’t appear to hear Amy’s question, he was busy frowning and slapping his screwdriver, but an answer was delivered in a low, gravelly voice.

“I am not weeping, but I am an angel.”

Rory and Amy whirled around and saw a dark haired man with electric blue eyes walk around from behind the huge tree. He was wearing a tan trench coat that didn’t lend much credibility to his claim of angelhood; he looked more like a civil servant. The rabbits liked him as they hopped around his feet happily; one of them even gave the hems of his slacks a nibble. Before the trio could question his claim another man came rushing round the tree, scattering the rabbits.

“Dammit Cas! I told you not to wander off.”

The self-professed angel rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Dean, the room is circular and there are no apparent exits. There is very little difficulty I could get into that I could not get out of.”

The two men, or man and angel, stared at each other. There appeared to be some significant exchange going on the made Rory at little uncomfortable, as if he was intruding on something private. As he looked away he caught sight of a ridiculously tall man with hair that belonged in some upmarket shampoo advert approaching from the same direction. Amy also noticed the newcomer and went into flirt mode.

“Well, hello. Somebody’s mother fed him well.”

Rory grabbed Amy’s hand and pulled her back towards him as all three men stared daggers at her, although Rory couldn’t figure out what his wife had said that would cause such a response. The shaggy haired giant cleared his throat and said;

“There’s no sign of the door we came through Dean and apart from these three there’s no one else here…”

“What witchcraft is this?” 

“… or maybe there is.”

There were in fact three more people in wherever here was, two girls and a boy. All of them in their mid-teens by the look of them, but Rory knew that looks could be deceiving. He watched with interest as one of the tall Americans, Dean, reacted to the mention of witchcraft.

“Freakin’ witches, Sam!”

The newly arrived redhead with the kooky dress sense frowned.

“What’s wrong with witches?”

Dean turned to her with a face like thunder. The boy who arrived with her was frantically shaking his head at Dean, but was ignored. His shoulders sagged and he rolled his eyes as Dean started speaking.

“What’s wrong with witches? They trade their souls for power; they hex people to death; they’re always spewing bodily fluids around the place and I kill them.”

Rory felt Amy tense beside him as he glanced at the Doctor. The Time Lord was crouched down locked in an intense staring contest with one of the rabbits, totally oblivious to anything else around him. He didn’t even twitch when the trench coated angel joined him in bunny gazing. Not for the first time Rory wondered how the Doctor had survived to his great age. The boy had put himself between the redhead and Dean, but it was the petite blonde who went toe to toe with the burly Yank.

“Willow’s a witch. She still has her soul, doesn’t hex people, or spew fluids anywhere. Anyone who tries to hurt her has to go through me and that will not be pretty for them.”

Rory thought Dean would laugh at a threat from a little girl, but he looked her up and down carefully before nodding slowly.

“You’re a hunter.”

“Slayer.”

“Different name same gig I’m thinking. Dean Winchester, that’s my brother Sam, guy in the trench coat is Cas. We kill evil SOBs.”

“Buffy Summers, this Willow and Xander. We do the same.”

Amy bounced on the balls of her feet.

“Amy, Rory and the Doctor. Evil things sometimes die around us.”

Somebody cleared their throat and everyone swung around to see two new arrivals. A tall, pale man with a dark mop of curly hair and his shorter friend who put Rory in mind of a paediatric nurse he’d once worked with, right down to the cuddly jumper and cheerful face.

“Well this is …”

“Unexpected. Sherlock, have you drugged my tea again?”

“No John, but I am wondering if we’re both high.”

The short friendly looking man dropped his head and clenched his fists. Rory had the strong suspicion that he was counting to ten under his breath. He looked up and smiled as he said;

“I’m Doctor John Watson, this is Sherlock Holmes and from what I just heard you’re all crazy serial killers.”

Dean rubbed his hand across the back of his neck and shrugged.

“Sort of, but as long as you two are human you got nothing to worry about from us.”

Watson eyes widened and his head tilted.

“As long as we’re human? Okay. Great. What are the other choices?”

“At the moment we’ve got alien or angel.”

The man who’d introduced himself as John Watson threw his hands in the air and walked away around the perimeter of the room muttering to himself. The tall curly haired man looked at the doctor’s vanishing back and shrugged.

“Just give him a moment to calm down. Why are you staring at rabbits?”

 

The tension in the air eased a little with the introductions. The shaggy haired man mountain known as Sam walked over to Amy and Rory. He gave them a shy awkward smile.

“Sorry about Dean, he’s not as much of a jerk as he seems, just a bit on edge right now.”

Willow and Xander joined them leaving Dean and Buffy in a debate over the best way to kill vampires.

“Looks like those two are bonding over all things bloody. I almost feel sorry for any vampire that meets either of them in a dark alley.”

Willow looked up at Xander in surprise.

“Really?”

“No, not in the slightest. So none of you are wigging out about today’s dose of strangeness then?”

Amy and Sam both laughed and shook their heads as Rory said;

“To be honest this isn’t even that strange for us. A library with a giant tree and rabbits doesn’t even make my top ten of odd.”  
There was a sudden flurry of bunnies as the Doctor leapt to his feet and bounced towards them. Castiel and Sherlock followed him quickly. 

“It makes my top ten of odd, well at least my top twenty. This place is very, very odd indeed. First things first how did everyone get here?”

“We were outside Giles’s house and we heard a scream. The door brought us here.”

Sam nodded at Buffy’s answer and added;

“We were just about to check into a motel and there was a scream. The door was glass and this wasn’t what we could see on the other side, but once we came through it we were here.”

Doctor Watson had finished his calming stomp around the room and supplied;

“Same thing; outside Baker Street; heard scream; ran in; grass, rabbits and probable serial killers.”

The Doctor was rubbing his hands together looking at everyone with wonder shining bright in his eyes. 

“You all heard a strange scream and you ran towards it? Humans are wonderful. Oh, and angels of the Lord, obviously.”

Amy frowned at the Time Lord.

“So, Mister Tax Man is a real angel?”

“Oh yes. And that is very useful to us because where every we are is interfering with the Sonic, but Castiel here is almost as good.”

The now accepted angel’s face darkened and Rory thought he heard him mutter something about working on wood. Sherlock chimed in at this point, disbelief heavy in his tone;

“According to the Doctor, this Doctor not my John, we are in a dream dimension. Personally I’m still leaning towards the fact I’m high as a kite.”

Castiel tilted his head and stated;

“The two states are not mutually exclusive Mr Holmes.”

Dean snapped his fingers twice.

“Mr Holmes? Why do I feel like I should know that name?”

His brother nodded slowly.

“It does sound familiar and so does everyone else’s, but I can’t place them. Man this is annoying.”

The Doctor was grinning at Sam now.

“Exactly, does everyone else feel like there’s something just out of reach in your memory?”

The only people not to agree were Sherlock and Castiel. They shrugged at each other and the angel said in explanation;

“Dean frequently makes references I do not understand.”

“So, we’re here, but we don’t know where here is. Do we know how to get back?”

Xander looked around hopefully at everyone in the room and sighed. 

“The shrugs and blank stares are telling me I shouldn’t expect to be home in time for ‘The Simpson’s’ tonight.”

Before anyone could question Xander’s priorities John calmly asked;

“I know rabbits are well known for multiplying, but do they normally do it this quickly?”

Rory looked down at the grass, which contained a lot more bunny than previously. In fact it would be tricky to walk more than a few steps without tripping over, or stepping on cottontail now. A distraction from the bunny baby boom came in the form of another scream.

Buffy, Xander and Willow pulled wooden stakes from under their jackets; Castiel suddenly had a very pointy, very sharp looking blade in his hand, while Dean and Sam both tugged handguns from their waistbands. Rory wasn’t at all surprised to see Sherlock fish a pistol from the pocket of his huge coat, but did raise his eyebrows when the weapon was thrown to Watson. The jumper clad man caught it with ease and familiarity, he smile at Rory’s obvious confusion and winked.

“Army doctor.”

The Time Lord shook his head sadly.

“Aren’t Humans wonderful? Right if you’re all feeling secure now, shall we find out what’s going on? Hello! Who’s there?”

One of the bookcases slid to the side to reveal, well Rory could only describe her as very irritated. Mousy hair was knotted in a messy bun at the back of her head, with what looked like a couple of cheap ball point pens shoved haphazardly into it. Add that to the baggy cardigan, hippy skirt and square framed glasses and Rory realized they were dealing with one very annoyed librarian.

“What in the blue hell are you all doing in here?! Look at all of these plot bunnies! Do you have any idea how long it’s going to take to get this lot under control?”

There was chorus of embarrassed and awkward ‘erms’, ‘nos’ and ‘sorrys’ that the newcomer didn’t seem to appreciate. She made her way over to them shooing rabbits out of the way. The first person she reached was Dean who still had his gun raised and pointed at her. Rory held his breath as she frowned at the barrel and casually pushed it to one side. 

“Dean Winchester, so that means Sam and Cas in tow as well? Ah yeah. Freakin’ witches. That’s your door home.”

She pointed at a random stretch of bookcase which wasn’t bookcase anymore.

“Well get a move on, the world isn’t going to save itself!”

No one looked more surprised than the two brothers and the angel as they obeyed the cranky lady and vanished through the door. She rounded on the remaining group and Rory found himself trying to lean out the way of her gaze.

“Right Sherlock and Watson. John that experiment Sherlock left cooking had hallucinogenic fumes. Open the windows and drink plenty you’ll be fine. That’s your door, off you pop.”

The two men went through the door bickering about kitchen safety as they went. It occurred to Rory to be amazed that the Doctor was speechless; he thought he should mark the calendar.

“Buffy, Willow and Xander. Giles is being held hostage by a demon. This is a distraction and there’s your door.”

The three teens managed to exchange puzzled looks as their feet moved them through the indicated doorway, which promptly disappeared. Rory gulped nervously and waited to see what she would say to them. He wasn’t expecting the deep sigh.

“Doctor. I got nothing. Please just go through the door over there and have a nice day.”

Amy and Rory started walking towards the door, but the Doctor managed to hang back.

“Who are you? What is this place?”

With a slow smile she gently pushed the Doctor towards the door.

“I’m not a threat and this place isn’t dangerous. No doubt I'll see you soon Time Lord.”

With a final nudge the Doctor crossed the threshold of doorway and vanished from sight. The woman hung her head and sighed. As she caught sight of all the bunnies hopping around she groaned.

“LOKI! I know you’re here, show yourself.”

There was a deep soft chuckle from the branches of the tree, a flash of emerald green and jet black tumbled effortless to land gracefully amidst the bunnies. The Norse God sketched an elegant bow, before stand up straight and tall with a wicked grin on his face. The woman shook her head fondly at him.

“Let me guess you were bored.”

“Not at all. You had writers block. I thought this would help.”

“Yeah. How is it you wandered around in my mind palace like you own the place?”

Loki laughed.

“It’s your mind, if I have free reign it is only because you grant it to me.”

The woman nodded in agreement and snapped her fingers. Loki disappeared, but the mass of plot bunnies remained.

“Why let’s see if any of you twitchy noses can break my block.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you've made it to the end of this exercise in crazy have a cookie. I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. Please don't judge me. I so need to cut down my caffeine intake.


End file.
